I went to Albertson’s today for a few grocery items. I love it when the grocery list is small, unlike when I’m preparing for a dinner party. You get in and out quickly, and the bill is a heck of a lot less.
I’m putting a 15-bean soup with homemade vegetable broth and some sliced spicy sausage in the crock pot tomorrow morning, and plan to make a loaf of easy artisan bread to go with it for dinner tomorrow night. There was another item I also needed – SHAKE ‘N BAKE. Sometimes when George and I want an easy dinner, we’ll make chicken strips with SHAKE ‘N BAKE, put some frozen French fries in the oven, and whip up a quick salad. (Perhaps not the healthiest of meals, but better than SpaghettiO’s with Texas toast and chocolate cake, right?)
But the store was out of Chicken SHAKE ‘N BAKE. Or so it first appeared. I peered onto the top shelf and saw one lone box, with a wrinkle in it, nearly to the back. I didn’t want the generic brand. Standing on my tip-toes, I tried using the generic box to knock over the SHAKE ‘N BAKE one and pull it closer to me. (I’m 5’, 6”.) I couldn’t reach it. I looked across the aisle and found a syrup bottle. That was taller. And it didn’t work either. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw a tall, Black figure perpendicular to me pushing his grocery cart forward and not going down the same aisle. “I can get help!” I thought.
I put the syrup bottle back and went to look for the African American man. And then I thought, well, I should probably ask a tall store employee, or any employee who can get a stepstool or something.
There was only one tall employee and he was busy checking people out. All of the employees were busy. So when I found the customer in the freezer aisle, I went ahead and approached him.
Perhaps it’s just my imagination, but I wonder if African Americans keep to themselves in Albertson’s, and other stores around here, because of a reluctance to make direct eye contact with people. I found I needed to directly approach the man. Who was probably somewhere around 6’, 4” and, ahem, very good-looking.
The conversation went something like this.
Me: May I please ask you a huge favor? (Smile.)
Him: Yes. (Smile.) What is it you’re looking for?
Me: A tall person! (Smile.) I’m trying to get this box of SHAKE ‘N BAKE off of the top shelf and I can’t reach it. It’s in the flour aisle. I was trying to use a syrup bottle to get it and it didn’t work.
Him: Oh, I’m sure we can do much better than that. You don’t need to be using a syrup bottle.
We walked to the flour and baking aisle together.
Me: It was the last one.
It turns out it wasn’t the last one; there were three! I opted for two.
Me: Thank you so much!
Him: You’re very welcome.
Me: You’re the best!
Him: Happy to help.
Why am I writing about this?
Well, a couple of reasons…
Since moving here in 2007, I have found Lake Oswego to be an open and easy town to live in, whether interacting with people who have multi-million dollar homes facing the lake, or in the more forested area with less expensive homes like where I live in the Lake Grove area.
Yet Lake Oswego also has a history of racism I’ve only recently become aware of. I see few people of color in Lake Oswego. In Albertson’s today I saw only two people of color. The Black man I approached, and the Black man who often works in the bakery.
I spoke with a dear friend of mine, a voice student who is African American, before I published this. Could it be that Black people are less likely to make direct eye contact in a public place filled with mostly white people because of a history of systemic racism? That makes me sad. And it makes me angry. It makes me wonder what I can do to help change things so that everyone in a grocery store, or anywhere else, is comfortable making direct eye contact with others, if that’s what they want to do.
There is one thing any of us can do. If we observe racist behavior, we can use our voices to call it out…that is not okay; stop it!
The other reason I’m writing about this experience is that it brought about joy for two strangers in a grocery store to randomly meet and give and receive help. It was fun. And that has nothing to do with race or culture, just humanity.
After she is tragically orphaned, young Abella loses the ability to speak her truth and express herself. She is sent to live with a reclusive uncle she’s never met, and her only friend is her horse. Abella endures heartbreak, loneliness and questions who she truly is inside. Eventually, she meets friends and animals who help her not only regain her voice, but also uncover her strength and purpose. Purchase How Abella Found her Voice for $4.95 here: https://laurahandke.com/product/how-abella-found-her-voice-e-book/
Please spread the love and pass this along to a friend!
The first place I ever publicly sang, outside of school, was in the First Presbyterian Church, Raymond, South Dakota, population now 53.
Raymond is 11 miles from the farm I grew up on, and I always loved singing in church and being an angel in the Christmas Eve. service – ouchy wings, itchy halo and all.
Yes, I grew up in a house on the prairie, although it wasn’t all that little. More like medium size. I read every book Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote and was so excited when the TV Show aired for the first time! My younger readers and students may not remember Little House on the Prairie, yet many may be newly introduced because of the re-runs on channels like Peacock. https://www.peacocktv.com/
Your voice isn’t about just physical vocalization; it’s about how your most heartfelt values are expressed from your inner voice through your outer voice.
Perhaps you’ve heard people use a racial slur and didn’t know how to respond. When I was young, a close family member told me that birds of different varieties don’t interbreed, so why should humans? Even though I didn’t have an understanding of racism at such a young age, I knew in my heart that was crazy talk.
Michael Landon put such themes into his scripts and onto our television sets starting in September of 1974 with Little House on the Prairie. The hardship of pioneer prairie life. Bigotry. Division amongst town people. Bullying. The stuff I can’t believe we’re still dealing with today in 2022.
Yet I’m still rewatching the episodes, because somewhere in them is hope. There’s usually a happy ending, yes, but hope is different than a happy ending. Hope means you believe what caused the problem in the first place can change.
That’s how I think about it, anyway.
I was so impressed with Karen Grassle’s memoir, Bright Lights, Prairie Dusthttps://karengrassle.net/ that I wrote her a personal snail mail letter. And I heard back. I was thrilled! These are the notes I received.
Whether you sing or not, speak publicly or not, write books or not, I encourage you to keep taking on new challenges, as Karen Grassle said to me. And I encourage you to read her book!
Thanks, “Ma.”
After she is tragically orphaned, young Abella loses the ability to speak her truth and express herself. She is sent to live with a reclusive uncle she’s never met, and her only friend is her horse. Abella endures heartbreak, loneliness and questions who she truly is inside. Eventually, she meets friends and animals who help her not only regain her voice, but also uncover her strength and purpose. Purchase How Abella Found her Voice for $4.95 here: https://laurahandke.com/product/how-abella-found-her-voice-e-book/
Please spread the love and pass this along to a friend!
My newsletter didn’t go out as usual last Friday because I was on a road trip to the Midwest!
My uber awesome niece, Claire, got married at a lovely venue (http://www.thebarnatdunvilla.com/) in Pelican Rapids, MN on May 21st, which just so happens to be my husband’s birthday. We decided to hit the road instead of the airports and airplanes this time.
The wedding was beautiful and we had a chance to spend quality time with a lot of my family members, and see some breathtaking scenery along the way.
Another highlight was having a personal tour of the Oscar Larson Performing Arts Center right on the campus of my alma mater, South Dakota State University. It is a world class facility along the lines of Carnegie Hall in New York. Just walking into the theatre gave me goosebumps.
We also spent many hours in the car, and along the way I noticed my already tight pecs were getting painfully more so.
Tight pectoral muscles are common now because of the way we live, often hunched over our cell phone or other devices. I’m at the piano keyboard when I teach voice, and at the computer keyboard when I write. That’s a good chunk of my life!
If you have tight pecs, too, here’s an exercise (53-second video demonstration above) given to me by a prior voice student, massage therapist Don Beatty. Check it out – it will help!
After she is tragically orphaned, young Abella loses the ability to speak her truth and express herself. She is sent to live with a reclusive uncle she’s never met, and her only friend is her horse. Abella endures heartbreak, loneliness and questions who she truly is inside. Eventually, she meets friends and animals who help her not only regain her voice, but also uncover her strength and purpose. Purchase How Abella Found her Voice for $4.95 here: https://laurahandke.com/product/how-abella-found-her-voice-e-book/
Please spread the love and pass this along to a friend!
If you’ve read my first book, Six Degrees to Your Dreams, you know I subscribe to the six degrees of separation theory, which I call six degrees of connection. WhatIs.com describes it this way: Six degrees of separation is the theory that any person on the planet can be connected to any other person on the planet through a chain of acquaintances that has no more than five intermediaries.
It’s like the six degrees of Kevin Bacon movie trivia game, which goes like this. Pick any actor alive today. Let’s say Julia Roberts. She was in Flatliners with Kevin Bacon, one degree. How about John Travolta? He was in Phenomenon with Forest Whitaker, who worked with Sean Penn in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, who was in Mystic River with Kevin Bacon. Three Degrees. Keira Knightly? She co-starred in Pirates of the Caribbean with Johnny Depp, who was in Black Mass with Kevin Bacon. Two degrees.
Thanks to my interview with filmmaker Paul Bright, I learned I’m three degrees from Kevin Bacon since Paul is two!
But that’s not where the synchronicities end.
Early in 2021, I was in a short play for Chapel Theatre’s Winter Play Festival, and so was Paul, in a different play. I watched all of the shows and was stunned by Paul’s noteworthy performance as a heron. Yes, the large waterfowl. I reached out to him on Facebook and we became connected that way.
Months previously, my co-writer, Jen, and I had been finalizing the script for our first play, Second Chances. I put out a call for local actresses to read via Zoom and give suggestions on the script. Three of the talented and experienced actresses who helped us were Yelena King, Eleanor O’Brien and Maria Mogavero.
When I found out Maria had experience with screen-writing, she started helping me with another project. Then in June of 2021 Paul was looking for “extras” (watch the video to find out why Paul doesn’t like the word “extra”) for just 15 minutes of Pocket Mouse Protector shooting in a park in NE Portland. Just guess which three actresses were already cast in the film? Ahem, yes, Yelena, Eleanor and Maria. How many degrees is this now? I’m getting confused. Anyhoo, I got a free listing on IMBd and $20 for my time, energy and gas money; I thought, “Why not?!” Speaking of degrees, the park filming turned out to be on the hottest, driest day of the summer. Thankfully, a huge old oak tree provided shade.
That was nearly a year ago, and now the movie is done and being submitted to film festivals. Watch my interview with Paul for more details!
PS. I joined Paul and some of my castmates for a private screening Tuesday evening. It turns out I’m not actually in the film! Paul thought I was – the camera scanning seemed to stop just before me. He’ll look through the footage, but regardless, since I was there, I have my role as Government Liaison. I was impressed with how well the movie came together after being filmed and edited under challenging circumstances. Be prepared for some partial nudity, a variety of bedroom scenes, and you may always wonder exactly how to pronounce the word perignothis.
Better to hope for the best and deal with the worst, than expect the worst and miss the best. -Sarah Morgan, from her novel “One Summer in Paris”.
After she is tragically orphaned, young Abella loses the ability to speak her truth and express herself. She is sent to live with a reclusive uncle she’s never met, and her only friend is her horse. Abella endures heartbreak, loneliness and questions who she truly is inside. Eventually, she meets friends and animals who help her not only regain her voice, but also uncover her strength and purpose. Purchase How Abella Found her Voice for $4.95 here: https://laurahandke.com/product/how-abella-found-her-voice-e-book/
Please spread the love and pass this along to a friend!
Now that COVID restrictions are lessening, the current school year is ending soon, and another will be starting in the fall… I have a pet peeve to share.
And it’s not litter! That is definitely a pet peeve. But this one…is…vocal fry!
Allow me to set the scene.
I’ve worked with a teenage voice student for weeks. Her vocal technique is coming along beautifully, her voice is free, and singing is fun. One of her parents picks her up after the lesson and says something like, “I need to stop at the grocery store on the way home to grab some things for dinner. Which sounds better – salad and grilled chicken or that spicy white bean chili with cornbread?”
And the parent sounds like this:
This is a little crazy-making for a voice teacher who wants to help prevent vocal problems before they start.
So many voice students come to me in their 40’s and beyond, after years of not understanding how their voices work or the way the body creates sound. They just know their voices simply aren’t working right or they hate the way they sound. I absolutely love working with these students. Yet, at the same time, think what a difference it would make if students were taught how to really use and love their voices in school!!! I wasn’t, and from what I’ve experienced as a voice teacher, most students today aren’t either.
That’s where you come in.
I can bring an affordable two-hour workshop (via Zoom or in person locally), into both private and public schools, that will transform students’ relationship with their voices from then on. If you know parents, teachers or administrators who may be interested, please introduce me and I’ll take it from there.
These are just a few of the student comments I received from the pre-COVID Speak Up! school workshop.
I would totally recommend this class to my friends. It helped me relax and gave me confidence to do public speaking. -Jimena J.
Come back soon! -Trinity T.
This class gave me more confidence. -Caleb E.
This class helped me speak up with confidence. I think it’s good for your mind and self-esteem to do these exercises. -Emilee J.
Thank you in advance for any introductions you feel moved to make. You will receive my never-ending gratitude for being part of eliminating vocal fry from the world and helping young people feel more confident.
After she is orphaned, young Abella loses the ability to speak her truth and express herself. She is sent to live with a reclusive uncle she’s never met, and her only friend is her horse. Abella endures heartbreak, loneliness and questions who she truly is inside. Eventually, she meets friends and animals who help her not only regain her voice, but also uncover her strength and purpose. Purchase How Abella Found her Voice for $4.95 here: https://laurahandke.com/product/how-abella-found-her-voice-e-book/
Please spread the love and pass this along to a friend!
