(Artwork by Julanne Dalke. “Star Children”.)
Becoming a voice teacher after years as a workers’ compensation claims professional has been surprising in many ways.
One of the biggest surprises has been understanding how much trauma can impact the voice.
Trauma? What do you mean, trauma?, you may be asking.
The American Psychological Association defines trauma as an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, crime, or natural disaster. Reactions such as shock and denial are typical.
I’m no psychologist (you can’t count majoring in psychology in college for 2 ½ years) but I find that definition limiting.
It seems to me everybody has suffered some kind of trauma, and it doesn’t need to be because of a “terrible” event. Why? Because nobody is perfect; therefore, no one had perfect parents or perfect parenting. I’ve also learned through my work as a voice teacher that trauma isn’t just emotional; it settles in the body and can cause all kinds of physical issues, including vocal issues.
My parents were great. Better than many, I would say. I grew up on a farm in South Dakota where my best friend was my horse. I had and still have a huge extended family with many aunts, uncles and cousins I dearly love. In many ways, my childhood was idyllic.
But perfect? Of course not.
I have a specific, recurring childhood memory. I’m 4, 5 years old, sitting under a piece of wooden furniture with legs (I call it a bureau) while my mother is vacuuming the dining room carpet.
That’s it. No big terrible event. I don’t remember what happened right before I got down and crawled under the bureau and I don’t need to. Maybe it’s just where I went every time Mom pulled out the vacuum, just to get out of her way. Much like our cat crawls under the bed covers every week when George and I clean house and pull out the “vroom-vroom” here.
Yet the memory resurfaced again a couple of weeks ago when I was having a polarity session. I’ll delve into polarity more another time – for now let’s just call it an energy cleansing/balancing practice rooted in Ayurvedic medicine, like Deepak Chopra is trained in.
So, my polarity specialist, Patrice, and I booked another session for the following week, to follow up on that memory and any healing that may need to be done stemming from it.
I have to be honest here. I’ve had sessions with several intuitives and coaches over the years who have suggested embracing and loving my “inner child.” I’d smile, nod my head, and think to myself, “that sounds nice.” But I certainly didn’t take it seriously.
Then shortly after the session with Patrice, I attended an online meeting related to women and wealth – with some extremely wise and experienced women I mostly hadn’t met right up until that moment. Just guess what a main topic of conversation was that day? Nurturing, embracing, and developing a relationship with the inner child. The women in this group called it “re-parenting” the inner child and described how they regularly check in with “Little Barbara” or “Little Laura Lee” and I just about couldn’t believe the timing of it all.
I was primed when the time for my follow up session with Patrice arrived. (These sessions are all over the phone now because she moved to Maine.) She introduced the session by having me picture a large bubble of light over my head. I could already sense Little Laura Lee’s energy – she was giddy with excitement and an “it’s about friggin’ time” attitude. Clapping her hands, let’s go, let’s go!
In the visualization, she was in the bubble first, before I entered. I basically charged in with no hesitation – a knightess in shining armor kind of feeling. I sat down and Little Laura Lee immediately jumped into my lap before any kind of conversation happened.
The feeling I received was one of nearly overwhelming hopelessness. Like nobody in my family understood me, or who I really was inside. That I was a spark of Divine Light, as is everyone who comes into this world. That I would never be understood or acknowledged just for being exactly who I am. That I had to fit into a tiny little mold of someone else’s design that my bright light couldn’t fit into.
How is it that a 4, 5-year-old child can experience that depth of hopelessness and powerlessness without any kind of “terrible” event or abuse?
I don’t know how to answer that question. But I can tell you that within just a minute or two after I acknowledged the feelings, assured Little Laura Lee that I’m here to take care of her now, and I always will, we were both standing up in the bubble of light, filled with powerful energy, holding hands, and then we kind of melded into each other.
It was extraordinary.
And here’s another odd thing.
I used to have dreams that I was cleaning, sorting, organizing. Often. Recurring. For years. I’d end up in somebody else’s house or plane or boat and would need to start cleaning and reorganizing things just so I could lay down and try to get some sleep.
I haven’t had one cleaning dream since the session with Little Laura Lee.
Good Gravy; I get it now! This reparenting of the inner child is powerful stuff. Powerful, I say! Go do it – it will help your voice, too.
And now…onto some great news. From August 15-23, three fortunate winners will receive a FREE copy of my eBook, How Abella Found Her Voice, which is now being made into a screenplay for a full length feature film. Exciting stuff! Look for more about that soon in your inbox. Thank you for allowing me space there.
For now, nurture your inner child and tell her or him I send my love.
After she is tragically orphaned, young Abella loses the ability to speak her truth and express herself. She is sent to live with a reclusive uncle she’s never met, and her only friend is her horse. Abella endures heartbreak, loneliness and questions who she truly is inside. Eventually, she meets friends and animals who help her not only regain her voice, but also uncover her strength and purpose. Purchase How Abella Found her Voice for $4.95 here: https://laurahandke.com/product/how-abella-found-her-voice-e-book/
Please spread the love and pass this along to a friend!
Love Your Voice & Voice Your Love,