I’m just going to be brutally honest with you here.
I used to love to sing when I didn’t know what I was doing. Now that I realize all the gaps in my technique, it’s not as much fun anymore. The only true experiences I’ve had of music flowing through me are when no-one else is around (including my husband) and I feel completely un-self-conscious. I did have a moment like that with one song last week, and shared it with a fellow teacher. But it’s not consistent and I have to force myself to practice. And when I have to force myself it doesn’t work. It just feels like a huge chore. And I don’t remember if I told you I shipped my old clarinet back from So. Dak., so I’ve been remembering some of my old clarinet practice, along with playing piano. OMG, playing the clarinet is so hard now later in life, I don’t know how it was so easy in high school. But it’s been fun re-learning, despite how much it physically hurts right under my cheek-bones.
Here you go.
George and I just had a fun session together singing together while he played the guitar. That didn’t feel forced and it was fun. So, that’s something.
I wrote that to my voice teacher.
I’m a voice teacher, and I struggle with my personal vocal practice at times. It happens.
I’ve also been learning how to paint.
Then, get this…I got a list of props from the director of Second Chances & New Beginnings. One of the props was a frame to represent the painting Joelle gives to Larae at the end of Second Chances. I checked with the director and decided to create a painting on canvas (the camera won’t see it) instead of an empty frame or canvas.
I started with tracing a photo from one of the actress’ Facebook page. Put purple on one side of the canvas for Larae, and green on the other for Joelle. There was a moment (I’m not kidding) when I looked at the blank, other than color, canvas, and thought I’d put the wrong color on the wrong side. Oh no! Ahem. Then I turned it around.
Part of Larae’s face got destroyed because I used too much Gesso putting the sketch on the canvas. And then I needed to be patient. It needed to dry.
Patience is not one of my strong suits. When my ex-husband and I were once in a long drive-through line on vacation and he asked me to stop being so impatient, my response was, “I’m not impatient. I just hate to wait! “
Yeah. I know.
But back to the painting. I started adding texture and it kept looking worse.
More texture and it looked worse yet.
But I kept at it, adding more color, water and texture, checking some online videos. I had fun with it.
I’m curious about what I can do with painting, even if it’s awful right now. Each effort I added made the painting just a bit better, an improvement.
We can all do this with our voices as well. Just be curious, put in your energy and passion, and see what happens!
Sink into your heart and be curious about what’s yours to creatively express in the new year.
GoFundMe account for 2022 Portland Fertile Ground Festival’s production of Second Chances & New Beginnings: https://gofund.me/072d7484. Thank you, donors!
Celebrating MANY VOICES: One World! Purchase How Abella Found her Voice for $4.95 here: https://laurahandke.com/product/how-abella-found-her-voice-e-book/
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Love Your Voice & Voice Your Love,