A Break from Our Regularly Scheduled Programming…Getting Personal
In the last few weeks, I’ve had conversations with three different women who are ready to meet their partner, soul mate, life love. Each time, I recommended the same exercise.
Now, this is not my area of expertise. I’m a voice teacher and speaker coach. However…(!)…you may not know my first business was a match-making service, Single Search Upper Oregon. I licensed the northern Oregon territory from the founder and owner of Single Search Global, before the days of on-line services like Match.com.
I was in my (over 12-year) marriage at the time. Three years after our divorce in 2006, the time came when I was ready to meet someone who would be my life-long partner, whether we ever got legally married or not. A friend recommended this exercise, and I did it.
I call it A Letter to my Beloved.
You write a letter to your beloved you haven’t yet met.
I can’t think of any clearer way to set the intention for what you want in a long-term relationship, and get the energetic wheels spinning in motion to be the best partner you can be, and attract that beloved partner to you.
I dragged out an old computer, just so I could share with you excerpts from my Letter to my Beloved, written January 24, 2009. I met George in May of 2010. We didn’t start dating until September of 2012, and within 10 days of that first walking trip to a tennis court, were in a committed relationship.
Over five years later, we’re still crazy in love and have – by far – the most loving, compassionate and fun relationship either of us has ever had.
Are you ready? This is highly personal stuff! I wrote for just over two pages, single-spaced. Here are excerpts:
January 24, 2009
I want to let you know how grateful I am to be sharing my life with you.
In many ways, I feel like my life began the day we met. A new life anyway. A way to re-live, through my relationship with you.
You free me while you embrace me.
You lift me up while you center and ground me.
You make me laugh. God, how I love the laughter between us. The open and honest communication we share. The physical activity, walks, picnics, dinner parties, everything.
This is the most freeing and yet always entwined relationship I have ever experienced…
You understand me. It’s like you can reach into my heart and know what’s there before I even have to voice it. Yet…you’re such a wonderful conversationalist! I can talk to you with complete openness, honesty, bare naked truth, knowing I will never be judged, condemned, made to feel I need to change, or am in any way less than perfect.
Of course, I’m not perfect, and you know this. But being with you…this sounds like a line from a movie…it is a line from a Movie (As Good As It Gets)…makes me want to be a better person. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m a good person and always have been, to the best of my abilities and knowledge and understanding I had at the time. But you, beloved – dear you – you inspire me to greatness. You applaud the spirit inside me in your gentle, fun, and creative way that I love so much.
I know what you’re going to say. You will say I’m the one who has done the work and made the progress, the decisions, the choices. And, of course, that is true. But look at what we have created here together! This is beyond awesome. I have never felt so blessed, so joyous, so grateful…at least not in this lifetime. We are one heaven of a team, you and me. I love you with all of my heart and all of my soul.
I have been blessed in this lifetime with so much love, so many wonderful relationships, and so many spectacular people. But, I gotta say, meeting you was the pinnacle, and still is…every single day, every moment. You float my boat, Hon.
I love how we can hold hands when we disagree.
I so appreciate your talent and creativity.
You have a really good vocabulary, have I ever told you that? I so appreciate your sharp mind, your deep wisdom, and willingness to explore.
Perhaps most of all, I appreciate your open heart, warm spirit, and kind, generous nature. You are truly an angel on Earth, my beloved. You touch everyone you meet, not just me, with your blessed, simple beingness. I’ve never met anyone quite like you – it’s like you were created for the sole/soul purpose of being with me, and me for you. I’ve never been in a situation like this, where everything just flowed so smoothly, and when there are doubts or conflicts, we can open our hearts and discuss them without the blame, negativity or criticism I’d grown to be accustomed to in the past.
You truly understand how to make other people find their own worth and value, just in the way you look at them, or a couple of words you may utter. I hope you truly understand what a positive influence you have been, on so many people. I see it even when we’re in a restaurant by the way you interact with the server. I wonder how many people have been inspired by you, without your knowledge.
You walk through life gracefully, yet with intention and purpose. You’ve impacted my life in such positive ways,,,
And, thank you for the so-called “little” things, which are really big things. The way you toss a salad. Barbeque a steak. How you rub my back, shoulders, and feet. How you bring me little gifts for no specific reason, but always a big reason. You are so thoughtful…
We enhance each other’s energy, not detract or drain. Those rare times we have a disagreement, are in a bad mood, or whatever – we understand how to give each other space and when and how to communicate about it. I’ve never had such great arguments before! Because they aren’t really arguments. We allow space, we express how we’re feeling…
I love that you love animals, nature, all of God’s creation. The depth of your character. I love your hair. I love the sound of your voice. I love the way you make love to me…Well…let’s put it this way. The Rolling Stones might have no satisfaction, and I am no rolling stone. Baby, you do it for me. And I love how I do it for you. As the Beach Boys once sang, good vibrations.
That’s all that is coming to me to write right now. I haven’t met you yet. When I do, I hope this letter makes you smile inside and out. You have a great smile.
With all of my Love, All of Me, Always,
I ran across my letter, while searching for something else, after George and I had been together for about two years. I had forgotten I’d written it. I printed it and handed it to him. He said, “Wow, that’s a little eerie,” with his great smile.
Yes, eerie and wonderful at the same time.
If you’re ready to meet your Ms. or Mr. Wonderful, you might want to try A Letter to my Beloved. Let me know on the blog if you decide to do it! I’ll be curious to hear.
Thanks to the amazing Jerry Wilson for my speaker reel! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8alNyT2Siw. If you like it, please like it on YouTube! Grab your stage and OWN it – speak like you want to be heard! Bring me on board for your next keynote or workshop.
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Authentically Yours, Laura