One synchronicity after another guided them to each other – and after 50 years – Lakewood Theatre in Lake Oswego, Oregon, helped them celebrate.
In November of 1973, the Sioux Falls Community Playhouse held auditions for Arsenic and Old Lace, Joseph Kesselring’s ingenious dark comedy about two sweet little old sisters on a charitable mission.
Abby and Martha Brewster’s charity recipients are lonely, old men. Their mission? To put them out of their misery. How? By offering them a generous glass of elderberry wine. Wine laced with a special family recipe comprised of arsenic, cyanide and strychnine.
Fortunately for the Brewster sisters, nephew Teddy, who believes he is Theodore Roosevelt – and has the uniform and bugle to prove it – is an eager grave digger. The cellar isn’t really a cellar – it’s Panama, and he’s down there digging locks for the Panama Canal. No problem!
Rod was already assigned to the show as technical director and to design and construct the set. The director asked him to also audition for a role. When Rod arrived at the audition, the room was nearly full. There was only one seat left. The one right next to Kathie.
Kathie says, “We started talking and never stopped.”
Kathie was cast as Elaine and Rod as Jonathan.
Rod had been a student and then teacher at Sioux Falls College.Dr. P. W. Patterson, who headed the theatre department, had talked about Rod Van Loh so much throughout Kathie’s college years, she almost felt like she knew him when Rod introduced himself at the audition. She was thrilled!
There were so many times they should have met but didn’t.
When Kathie was in high school, she was active in Young People’s Theatre at the Sioux Falls Community Playhouse. She was cast in the show Alladin while Rod, who was in college, was working on the set for that show. And they didn’t meet.
Rod’s brother and his date double-dated with Kathie and her date (later first husband) at the senior prom. But Rod and Kathie didn’t meet.
The day Kathie married her first husband, her maid of honor and his best man met with Rod after the ceremony. Rod knew they had been to a wedding, knew Kathie’s ex-husband, but didn’t know Kathie’s name.
At one point, Rod was in Kathie’s apartment while she was living with her then husband and infant son. Rod had gone over because a friend he’d grown up with was very good friends with Kathie’s then husband. But Rod was in one room and she was in another. Again, they didn’t meet.
But then, at the audition, they finally did!
Kathie and Rod bonded during rehearsals and got to know each other well. Rod was fresh out of the navy and living with his parents. Kathie was a single mom with a young son.
One late evening, towards the end of rehearsals, Kathie decided to bring two bottles of Boones Farm wine to the theatre, where she knew Rod was still working on the set. She also often helped with the set. They drank wine, talked, bonded more, and by the time Kathie was driving Rod home, it was nearly 4:00 am.
Kathie said to Rod, “If it wasn’t so late, I’d invite you in for coffee.”
Rod said, “It’s not too late.”
He came in for coffee and never left. (Somehow no coffee ever appeared.)
The Van Loh’s were married the following June in a simple ceremony in the side yard of a rented farmhouse near Trent, South Dakota. No invitations were sent, but they let people know they were getting married and 50, 60 people showed up, many of them friends from the Playhouse and Sioux Falls College. Kathie’s son stood up with them at the ceremony.
Rod went on to get his Master of Fine Arts degree from the University of Iowa and continued as designer/technical director. He was involved in 90 productions over a 35-year span. Kathie went on to teach and became the director of Young People’s Theatre where she had at one time been a student. They collaborated when Kathie directed, and Rod designed and tech directed Androcles and the Lion for Young People’s Theatre. In addition, Kathie directed high school theatre, and acted and directed in community theatre.
The Van Loh’s moved to Oregon’s coastal mountain range in 1996. Three kids and five grandchildren later, the still happy couple will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary next summer. But Lakewood Theatre, at Lakewood Center for the Arts in downtown Lake Oswego, helped them celebrate early during their production of Arsenic and Old Lace.
When Kathie called to book tickets for 12 (family members and this writer and her husband included) she mentioned their personal history of this play to the woman on the other end of the phone. That woman suggested letting Steve Knox, the theatre Executive Producer, in on the story. Kathie did.
The evening of October 7, 2023, we all went out for a delicious dinner at Lake Oswego’s Szechuan Kitchen, then to see the show!
Kathie and Rod were in for a pleasant surprise. Not only did the cast change one line of the play for this one performance (I hope Kesselring would approve) to Sioux Falls, South Dakota, from whatever city was actually in the script…the entire cast came out on stage after the show for a photo shoot with the celebrating couple. Producer Steve Knox couldn’t have been more kind and generous – we were all wowed and emotionally touched.
Besides, it was a great show.
Like the one in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, in 1974.
This gem of an eBook takes you on an emotional journey with Abella, whose dream comes true the morning of her 9th birthday. Her best birthday present ever is a real, live horse! Yet, before the end of the year, Abella is an orphan who loses the ability to speak her truth and express herself. This eBook includes videos for vocal training. Fiction readers will love meeting Abella, and the friends and animals who help her regain her voice and uncover her strength and purpose. Speakers and singers looking to improve their vocal quality and longevity will love the vocal training videos! Abella’s lessons apply to all of us who at one time or another want to make our voices heard. Is it a fantasy fable? Or is it a book on vocal training? Lucky for us, How Abella Found Her Voice is both. Find it here: https://laurahandke.com/product/how-abella-found-her-voice-e-book/
Some of my favorite books were Laura Ingalls Wilder’s “Little House” series. The author and I share a name, and I, like her, was a brunette country girl who loved spending time outside in nature, and with animals. Every few years I pull the books out and re-read the entire series – most recently shortly before my husband and I took our annual trip to my home state of South Dakota the third week of August.
As a voice teacher and performer who knows the importance of being in the moment, it’s almost embarrassing to admit how much I have come to dislike traveling. I simply don’t enjoy the journey like I used to; I just want to be off the plane, out of the airport, leave the rental car in the driveway, and sit down at the kitchen table with my cousin Kat. Who will offer me a Cabernet or chilled Pinot Gris. Kat is one of my closest friends. We’ve known each other her entire life because I was the first-born LaBay granddaughter and Kathryn is the second eldest.
She’s also a skilled communicator. As a project manager and mother of two adult daughters and two grandchildren, I suppose she has to be. I’ve noticed Kat tends to be the voice of reason when others are wigging out.
I have been that voice of reason myself in the past, but I can’t say I was on this trip. The Friday morning of my birthday, I completely lost it when I needed to be left alone and wasn’t. It wasn’t the finest of moments for me or for my husband.
I teach vocal and piano technique, but the voice is about so much more than how your body produces sound. It’s about confidence. Awareness of what impacts your voice – physically, mentally and emotionally. Knowing who you are inside and what you want to say. Or sing. Communication with others.
During this both super fun and complicated trip, I found myself going back to the communication of the Ingalls family during The Long Winter.
Here’s the back cover description: On the empty winter prairie, gray clouds to the northwest meant only one thing: a blizzard was seconds away. The first blizzard came in October. It snowed almost without stopping until April. The temperature dropped to forty below. Snow reached the rooftops. And no trains could get through with food and coal. The townspeople began to starve. The Ingalls family barely lived through that winter. And Almanzo Wilder knew he would have to risk his life to save the town.
Every time I re-read these books, I remember again how much Ma hated “Indians”, the Native American cultures already there when they arrived. Bigotry saddens my heart. The long winter happened in DeSmet, South Dakota, just 35 miles from where Clark, where I graduated from high school. I have deep respect and gratitude for the Oglala Sioux tribes who wandered those plains and highly recommend the book Black Elk Speaks. I first read it in college at SDSU in an Indians of North America class. That book changed the way I think.
The long winter was foretold.
First Pa found the muskrat house.
Laura put her hand on the wall of their house…she liked to think of them sleeping there. Pa was shaking his head. “We’re going to have a hard winter”, he said, not liking the prospect. “Why, how do you know?” Laura asked in surprise. “The colder the winter will be, the thicker the muskrats build the walls of their houses,” Pa told her. I never saw a heavier-built muskrats’ house than that one.”
Then came the Indian Warning.
He was a very old Indian. His brown face was carved in deep wrinkles and shriveled on the bones, but he stood tall and straight…His eyes were bright and sharp. Behind him the sun was shining on the dusty street and an Indian pony stood there waiting. “Heap big snow come,” this Indian said…”How long?” Pa asked him. “Many moons,” the Indian said. He held up four fingers, then three fingers. Seven fingers, seven months, blizzards for seven months.
That’s a long time to be stuck in a small house together. But the Ingalls daughters were raised to speak kindly to each other.
What kind of language did you see the last time you scrolled through social media?
“Well, the tunnel’s going fast,” Pa said, when he came into breakfast. His eyebrows were frozen white with snow again and his wraps were stiff with it. Cold was pressing the warmth back again to the stove. “I did hope my tunnel would last through one of these onslaughts, anyway. Gosh dang this blizzard! It only lets go long enough to spit on its hands.” “Don’t swear, Charles!” Ma snapped at him. She clapped her hand to her mouth in horror. “Oh, Charles, I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. But this wind, blowing and blowing…” Her voice died away and she stood listening.
And, in a later chapter…
Pa rose with a deep breath. “Well, here it is again.” Then suddenly he shook his clenched fist at the Northwest. “Howl!, blast you! howl!” he shouted. “We’re all here safe! You can’t get at us! You’ve tried all winter but we’ll beat you yet! We’ll be right here when spring comes!”
During the long winter survival was the only priority, including of the animals in the barn. Twice a day, Pa made it out there using the clothesline to guide him back and forth in the blinding snow. Pa and Ma had decided – at one point – that they would kill and eat the milk cow and her heifer calf if they needed to. Fortunately, they didn’t need to.
Our lives are so very different now.
We have electric lights instead of kerosene lamps. Clean water comes out of faucets in several rooms in our homes. We buy meat from animals that have been killed by someone else, packaged by another, shipped, and sold by yet others, the meat in plastic wrapped containers in an air-conditioned store. People in certain states can have caracals as pets in their homes and get tons of YouTube video likes. CNN, constantly negative news, blares everywhere.
Yet I believe we can still have respect and common courtesy in the language we use with each other, including in our own households. I’d venture to guess it’s more important now than it ever has been.
I’m making a personal commitment to it. If you’d like to join me, make a comment on the blog and we’ll start our own little Respectful Communication Club. No long hard winters required!
Exciting news! I’ve partnered with AuthorsXP for a fantasy book promotion and August 15-21 three lucky winners will receive a free copy of my eBook, How Abella Found Her Voice. (The story is now being made into a screenplay for a full length feature film.)
This gem of an eBook takes you on an emotional journey with Abella, whose dream comes true the morning of her 9th birthday. Her best birthday present ever is a real, live horse! Yet, before the end of the day, Abella is an orphan who loses the ability to speak her truth and express herself. This eBook includes videos for vocal training. Fiction readers will love meeting Abella, and the friends and animals who help her regain her voice and uncover her strength and purpose. Speakers and singers looking to improve their vocal quality and longevity will love the vocal training videos! Abella’s lessons apply to all of us who at one time or another want to make our voices heard. Is it a fantasy fable? Or is it a book on vocal training? Lucky for us, How Abella Found Her Voice is both.
Becoming a voice teacher after years as a workers’ compensation claims professional has been surprising in many ways.
One of the biggest surprises has been understanding how much trauma can impact the voice.
Trauma? What do you mean, trauma?, you may be asking.
The American Psychological Association defines trauma as an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, crime, or natural disaster. Reactions such as shock and denial are typical.
I’m no psychologist (you can’t count majoring in psychology in college for 2 ½ years) but I find that definition limiting.
It seems to me everybody has suffered some kind of trauma, and it doesn’t need to be because of a “terrible” event. Why? Because nobody is perfect; therefore, no one had perfect parents or perfect parenting. I’ve also learned through my work as a voice teacher that trauma isn’t just emotional; it settles in the body and can cause all kinds of physical issues, including vocal issues.
My parents were great. Better than many, I would say. I grew up on a farm in South Dakota where my best friend was my horse. I had and still have a huge extended family with many aunts, uncles and cousins I dearly love. In many ways, my childhood was idyllic.
But perfect? Of course not.
I have a specific, recurring childhood memory. I’m 4, 5 years old, sitting under a piece of wooden furniture with legs (I call it a bureau) while my mother is vacuuming the dining room carpet.
That’s it. No big terrible event. I don’t remember what happened right before I got down and crawled under the bureau and I don’t need to. Maybe it’s just where I went every time Mom pulled out the vacuum, just to get out of her way. Much like our cat crawls under the bed covers every week when George and I clean house and pull out the “vroom-vroom” here.
Yet the memory resurfaced again a couple of weeks ago when I was having a polarity session. I’ll delve into polarity more another time – for now let’s just call it an energy cleansing/balancing practice rooted in Ayurvedic medicine, like Deepak Chopra is trained in.
So, my polarity specialist, Patrice, and I booked another session for the following week, to follow up on that memory and any healing that may need to be done stemming from it.
I have to be honest here. I’ve had sessions with several intuitives and coaches over the years who have suggested embracing and loving my “inner child.” I’d smile, nod my head, and think to myself, “that sounds nice.” But I certainly didn’t take it seriously.
Then shortly after the session with Patrice, I attended an online meeting related to women and wealth – with some extremely wise and experienced women I mostly hadn’t met right up until that moment. Just guess what a main topic of conversation was that day? Nurturing, embracing, and developing a relationship with the inner child. The women in this group called it “re-parenting” the inner child and described how they regularly check in with “Little Barbara” or “Little Laura Lee” and I just about couldn’t believe the timing of it all.
I was primed when the time for my follow up session with Patrice arrived. (These sessions are all over the phone now because she moved to Maine.) She introduced the session by having me picture a large bubble of light over my head. I could already sense Little Laura Lee’s energy – she was giddy with excitement and an “it’s about friggin’ time” attitude. Clapping her hands, let’s go, let’s go!
In the visualization, she was in the bubble first, before I entered. I basically charged in with no hesitation – a knightess in shining armor kind of feeling. I sat down and Little Laura Lee immediately jumped into my lap before any kind of conversation happened.
The feeling I received was one of nearly overwhelming hopelessness. Like nobody in my family understood me, or who I really was inside. That I was a spark of Divine Light, as is everyone who comes into this world. That I would never be understood or acknowledged just for being exactly who I am. That I had to fit into a tiny little mold of someone else’s design that my bright light couldn’t fit into.
How is it that a 4, 5-year-old child can experience that depth of hopelessness and powerlessness without any kind of “terrible” event or abuse?
I don’t know how to answer that question. But I can tell you that within just a minute or two after I acknowledged the feelings, assured Little Laura Lee that I’m here to take care of her now, and I always will, we were both standing up in the bubble of light, filled with powerful energy, holding hands, and then we kind of melded into each other.
It was extraordinary.
And here’s another odd thing.
I used to have dreams that I was cleaning, sorting, organizing. Often. Recurring. For years. I’d end up in somebody else’s house or plane or boat and would need to start cleaning and reorganizing things just so I could lay down and try to get some sleep.
I haven’t had one cleaning dream since the session with Little Laura Lee.
Not one!
Good Gravy; I get it now! This reparenting of the inner child is powerful stuff. Powerful, I say! Go do it – it will help your voice, too.
And now…onto some great news. From August 15-23, three fortunate winners will receive a FREE copy of my eBook, How Abella Found Her Voice, which is now being made into a screenplay for a full length feature film. Exciting stuff! Look for more about that soon in your inbox. Thank you for allowing me space there.
For now, nurture your inner child and tell her or him I send my love.
After she is tragically orphaned, young Abella loses the ability to speak her truth and express herself. She is sent to live with a reclusive uncle she’s never met, and her only friend is her horse. Abella endures heartbreak, loneliness and questions who she truly is inside. Eventually, she meets friends and animals who help her not only regain her voice, but also uncover her strength and purpose. Purchase How Abella Found her Voice for $4.95 here: https://laurahandke.com/product/how-abella-found-her-voice-e-book/
Please spread the love and pass this along to a friend!
After a period in relative hibernation, percolating (while co-writing a screenplay, based on my e-Book How Abella Found Her Voice) I’m bursting at the seams to collaborate and come out in the world again.
So, here’s some news!
As always, I’m teaching voice and piano students in my home studio and – since January 31st – also at Wilsonville Arts Academy https://www.artsacademy.com/wilsonville Tuesdays and Thursdays when my husband has massage clients at home. Please come see me there if your schedule doesn’t jive with my private practice. It’s a great company I enjoy being a part of.
Teachers and administrators, look for a new and improved SPEAK UP! workshop for teens coming this fall. The most rewarding feedback I’ve consistently received from this workshop is that it gives students more confidence.
Students learn to:
*Control their breath and posture to reduce anxiety and increase confidence
*Be mindful and identify authentic gifts and strengths
*Feel more comfortable speaking up and being heard
We bring the curriculum, energy and expertise; you take a break or participate!
This class gave me more confidence. – Caleb E., Student
This is fascinating, and I can see it having a big impact on our kids and how they operate through life. – Colleen G., Teacher
And…finally…my favorite new easy dinner idea. Many of you know I love to cook, although admitedly not as often these days. Above is a photo of the little patio garden I’m nurturing in the back yard: a Moreton hybrid tomato plant, cherry tomato plant gifted by my neighbor Liz, basil, thyme, parsley and oregano.
One morning a few weeks ago I took a couple of chicken breasts out of the freezer, having no idea what I was going to do with them for dinner. George and I both love Mexican food, so I Googled ‘easy mexican chicken’ and found this recipe https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/8597/quick-and-easy-mexican-chicken/ which morphed into what will now be a regular menu item at Casa Handke Meredith.
Easy and Tasty Mexican Chicken
-4 chicken breast fillets
-Taco seasoning
-Salsa or picante sauce
-Grated cheese
-Optional jalapeno pepper slices and/or fresh herbs such as oregano
Pre-heat oven to 375. Heat pan coated with cooking spray and cook chicken on both sides until browned. Transfer to baking dish and top with approximately a cup salsa or picante sauce (I like Pace medium picante sauce) and approximately a cup grated cheese, cheddar or Mexican blend. Add fresh or canned jalapeno slices and herbs if desired. Cover and bake for 20-25 minutes until cheese is melted.
Cuban Island Seasoned Black Beans
I always have canned black beans in the pantry. They are so versatile, healthy and easy to cook with. For this recipe, slightly drain the beans before putting them in a pot and season liberally with Savory Spice Shop’s Cuban Island Spice, or your seasoning of choice. You can add fresh cilantro, other herbs, corn, onion, chopped jalapeno peppers, whatever you like. Heat until cooked through.
Spanish Rice
Use your package of choice! No, I don’t make it from scratch. My absolute new favorite is Zatarains which includes one can of diced tomatoes.
Include a salad or cole slaw, perhaps some warmed corn or flour tortillas, Mexican sour cream, and…there you have it. Enjoy!
After she is tragically orphaned, young Abella loses the ability to speak her truth and express herself. She is sent to live with a reclusive uncle she’s never met, and her only friend is her horse. Abella endures heartbreak, loneliness and questions who she truly is inside. Eventually, she meets friends and animals who help her not only regain her voice, but also uncover her strength and purpose. Purchase How Abella Found her Voice for $4.95 here: https://laurahandke.com/product/how-abella-found-her-voice-e-book/
Please spread the love and pass this along to a friend!
